As Time Goes by..

Here I’m, in my bed room; try to spend a little time to reflect. I often amazed how time could run so fast, how it could change things, affecting people. So, here I’m, feel so grateful that I’ve been blessed, still breathing and healthy until this very moment, a countdown to my birthday. Still surrounded by my big family, as well as kind and nice friends. So grateful that until this moment, I believe that there are people who love and care about me, no matter whatever I’ve been going through, always give their support event in the darkest days of my life. I’ve been so lucky, and I really grateful for it.

Here I’m, in my bed room. Listening to Rod Stewart’s “Sailing”, from the CD.

“.. I’m flying, I’m flying,
Like a bird ‘cross the sky
I’m flying, passing high clouds
To be near you, to be free..”

Could we be forever free? It’s hard to tell. Freedom is so expensive, some even sacrifying lives for that. Personal freedom? There are some invisible bindings that tie you so hard. You will always have to consider things that you are going to do. Whether other will mind about it. What will other people think about it? Until this moment, I’m enjoying my life. I feel free, even of course there are still some bindings. Therefore there is a big question in my mind. How long I can enjoy my freedom? Meanwhile time is running so fast, no way back. Nothing will stay the same. Time will change everything. Sooner or later I will have to face changes. Perhaps I could manage and live happily with it, or, in the other way around, it would turn my life down. “Nothing is certain, except the uncertainty it self”, said Einstein. So, here I’m, in my bed room. Try to think wise, because nothing is eternal. An easy sentence to say, but hard to do.

Talking about uncertainty, yes, lot’s of things happened and changed. I think I’ve been loosing good friends (really sad about it, but perhaps time has proved which are really good friends and which are not, just like a nature selection) but in the other hand, I made some new friends. But anyhow, it’s a topic to introspect my self. That’s life, isn’t it?

Here I’m, still in my bed room. Just received messages and a called to wish me all the best for my future. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Seems my childhood just yesterday, but suddenly, I realize, it had been passing a long time ago and until this very moment, I’ve done nothing that could be proud of, did mistakes. I hope I could be a better person. Think and act wisely and maturely.

So, here I’m, despite of all my weak sides, I’m still grateful with all I’ve been blessing with, with all I’ve got, being whatever I’m now. Just be my self. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my family, my friends where ever you are. Samarinda, Berau, Balikpapan, Jakarta, Surabaya, Palembang, Aceh, Germany, USA, Bostwana, Honduras, anywhere. Thank you for caring about me, thank you for taking me as I’m. Thank you for making my life so colorful and thank you for loving me. You’re all the best. Love you all.

Bed room, 10092006, 00:22 am